“Sitting in the olive grove. I can’t believe my time here is almost up. I feel like I’ve been here forever...but it all went by so fast. I did it. I did what I thought I couldn’t do. I thought this trip would be impossible, but here I am. I lived in another country for 3 months. I sacrificed a lot to be here but it was all so worth it. I can’t imagine missing out on this experience. Italy has changed me. What I needed more than anything was the solitude and independence I’ve had here. Back home, I rarely got time to be alone...to just be by myself. The alone time I was able to enjoy here felt luxurious. Putting more value on solitude is something I’m taking back with me. I spent so much of my life saying things like “the moment will come…” or “when the time is right I’ll know…”, but this time, I took the initiative. I decided the time for this was now. After having this experience, I truly feel like there is nothing I can’t do. I thought I would be ready to leave after 3 months...yet as I write this I’m tearing up. I don’t care what anyone says...Siena is my home away from home. I will always have an immense amount of love for this city.”
I decided to open up my final reflection with an excerpt from my journal I kept in Siena. This was written on April 13th, two days before my departure. I was sitting alone in one of my favorite spots, an olive grove at the top of one of Siena’s many hills, and was suddenly flooded with emotion. In order to not look like I was having an emotional breakdown in public, I began to write and the above is what poured out of me. It’s been almost 2 weeks now since I left Siena, and I can safely say that these emotions are still being felt.
If you’ve kept up with my blog posts since the beginning (just nod and pretend like you have) then you sort of know my story. I’ve always had a thirst for travel, but never saw it as something feasible for someone in my position. I come from a single parent household, and though we never starved, money was always tight. At one point in my life, I thought I would never even make it out of Georgia. How can I afford trips when I can barely afford clothes? It wasn’t until I was old enough to get a job and learn the art of budgeting that I figured out ways to fuel my wanderlust. Making friends in different cities, carpooling, buses, and other budget friendly tricks got me places. But Europe? Europe was the Holy Grail, the unattainable, the ultimate goal. It seemed so unrealistic...until the Siena program was introduced to me.
Something about the Siena trip made me cast all of my doubts aside. This was my ticket to Europe. When would I get another opportunity to live in another country for that amount of time? So I picked up a million shifts at work and made it happen. The process of moving to Siena alone instilled a new confidence within me. I left every comfort zone I had built and threw myself completely into the unknown.
The first month was not easy. Immediately, before even reaching Siena, I ran into issues. The airline I flew with lost my luggage and I had to somehow communicate where to get it to in a language I didn’t speak. The language barrier was of course something I expected, but you don’t truly understand how frustrating and tiresome it can be until you can’t even do the most basic things. Grocery shopping was the hardest. I was completely overwhelmed the first time I stepped in the store. Every hurdle became a learning lesson. I began making lists and translating them before I went to the store so that I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed.
Despite the language barrier, most people in Italy still spoke at least a little English. It was during this first month that I truly felt my privilege as a United States citizen. Even though I could barely understand my surroundings, there was always someone who knew a little of my language to assist me. Not many other languages can claim the same amount of power. At times, I felt guilty but most of the time I was grateful. I made a conscious effort to attempt to only speak Italian when in restaurants and performing simple tasks.
Throughout the following months of practicing the language and learning my surroundings, I began to get comfortable. I started meeting other students and forming relationships. Daniela (from Peru) and Fabienne (from Switzerland), were fellow international students and some of the first people I went out with. We were three women from different backgrounds and cultures, but while drinking sangrias together at the bar, you would never know. We discussed everything from romance to politics. We even exchanged questions about each other’s countries. Making friends is the best part of studying abroad because it’s where the most learning takes place.
I began to make friends with local students as well. Francesco, Ishak, and Alberto are students studying and living in Siena. I met them while going out and they were friendly and welcomed us into their circle of friends. Even on our last night, Francesco brought a bottle of wine as a parting gift. This gesture, along with many others, reflected the familial culture of Italy. They only knew us for 3 months, but we were treated as if we’ve known each other for years. Some of my best memories in Siena were going to Bella Vista, talking for hours by the Fonte Branda, or hanging out in the Piazza del Campo with these guys. Their generosity and kind hearts made me feel accepted in Siena.
The educational experience alone was life changing. I saw the works of Michelangelo, Simone Martini, Leonardo Da Vinci, Duccio, Raphael, Caravaggio, and the list could go on. Dante Alighieri provided an excellent program that gave me the knowledge I needed to understand Sienese culture. I enjoyed having classes that weren’t always behind a desk. We were taken to nearby towns, prominent galleries, and local landmarks as part of our curriculum. The knowledge I gained while studying in Italy is invaluable.
The past 3 months has impacted how I will live out the rest of my life. The confidence I have attained from traveling not only in Italy, but also around Europe is something I never thought I would have. I realized the only person who doubted I could do this was myself...and I proved myself wrong.
It’s been two weeks since I left Siena and since then I’ve spent time in London and now I’m currently in Ireland. I was texting one of my friends from Siena about how much I already missed Italy and he replied, “This is your second home now”. And I agree. Even while traveling to Paris, Positano, or Rome, I always felt a tug pulling me back to Siena. So although I have no idea when I will return, I won’t say goodbye. Somehow, someday I will see you again. Arrivederci, Siena.